does your stress disable you? from PTSD Healthboards.com

I feel like i go in and out of reality so often that i cant focus or go to school clean house... i wish i could just think away all my problems and then boom i'm back to happy me who could manage a job full time school and be independent. it takes so much energy to hype myself up to go to school and study. then i just stress and want to get away from it all again. right now the only calm i have is if i zone out. but then i'm not productive. i feel weak emotionally. like i tell myself "comon courtney! get yourself together, dont be so selfish and be responsible. act like an adult!" but i just can't. it doesnt help that last week in therapy i left feeling like i just opened up a can and its only going to start spilling out. but i cant help but think that i will always be this way and its only my fault.

can anyone relate?

natural disasters from PTSD Healthboards.com

well my grandma had cancer that almost killed her then a year later i became disabled lost my job then had to drop school because of a serious illness. and having heard about all these disasters with katrina and the tsunami and such i am hypervigilant about these types of things. my main thing is "anything could happen at any time!!!" right now i'm shaking thinking about these things.

does anyone feel this way: i get anxious at night when i'm tired and worry but tonight i stopped to just feel my feelings and they werent worry at all but a feeling like i'm uncomfortable just having things be okay and not worrying about what bad thing is going to happen next... so i let myself be uncomfortable and all i wanted to do was cry. or be sad or whatever. (btw my illness was so in and out for over 9 months and i just recently got over it like a few weeks ago)

triggers...tv and movies PTSD Healthboards.com

since i suffered from a pretty serious illness my triggers involved heaven or afterlife or some other thing that portrayed life being different that it is. i stopped watching scarey movies a while ago when i used to be terrified of loud sounds. and whenever someone brings up or takes light of death or murder or hurting someone i freak. it pretty much is the same in tv and movies. i had to walk out of pirates 3 because jack was in the underworld and they had to turn the boat upside down or whatever to make it back to the real world. freaked me out.

MRI

i'm not much better than last year honestly. my anxiety and stress levels are still high despite there being a bittersweet thing to it.

i called my insurance company today to see about the MRI i was supposed to get and found out that there is no preapproval needed. stupid bitch who swore to me that it was needed and it would take MONTHS to get! anyways i'm going to demand stuff now from that office.

i'm bruising alot now. i have about 8 bruises alone on my thighs and now a lump in my left arm that looks like a bruise. i'm having those hypoglycemic feelings again. i'm tired my face feels wiped out like usual and pouring water over it helps for about 30 minutes.

a few times last night my arms would fall asleep but not all the way. quite annoying!