About this Blog

~Hi, my name is Courtney. I was a full time college student, starting to be a dancer, and used to work with kids part time, living on my own until my illness disabled me.
~I became sick in 2005. I created this blog in the summer of 2006 to record my "headache" diary and to see if anyone finds it interesting.
~12/2006 I lost my job then after, failed a year of college.
~2/2007 Dx Lyme Disease with Bartonella: prescribed 8 months of oral antibiotics. I'm not even sure if I ever had the Lyme Disease.
~11/2007 The doctor took me off medicines while I was still improving but not fully recovered.
~6/2008 Dx Chiari I Malformation by a neurosurgeon in Beverly Hills.
~8/2008 Decompression and Lamenectomy helped 80% of my problems.
~2/2009 Dx Hypermobility by an Orthopedic Surgeon/School Doc: Started PT, dancing, going to school and working.
~6/2009 Started working full time as an Infant-Toddler teacher, which requires lifting. Dancing part time, maybe I'll finish school eventually...lol
~12/2009 Dx Chronic Sinusitis: Stopped dancing due to constant infections.
~2/2010 Sinus Surgery & complication: Severe Epistaxis: Became severely anemic.
~3/2010: Dx Ehlers Danlos Syndrome: by Geneticist
~4/2011: Switched jobs, now work at a Pre-K teacher for 3 and 4 year olds. Less lifting!
~5/2011: Started PT and exercising again

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

depersonalization and derealization

anyone get this? it seems like i've been in it for a couple of weeks now. and i'm slowly out of it. i dunno really. i cant remember.

anyways, its like the world is flat, i have this thick cloud around my head and i can only see in a tunnel vision. i used to love watching things like the sunset but it seems i cant see it. when i lose stuff i feel like i cant see things to find them. like my peripheral vision is shot.

also i feel like my senses have decreased drastically. touch for example. its all slowly coming back so i'm feeling more optimistic. there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

It will improve once treatment lowers the bacterial load far enough.

Anonymous said...

I have this all the time. definately my most bothersome symptom.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if tunnel vision really describes it, but I get what you're saying. For me it usually comes with a side dish of being lightheaded. It's not fun driving like this.

Anonymous said...

yeah the tunnel vision and "flatness" to everything really bugs me the hell out. Driving like that is horrible.

How are you feeling now?

Courtney said...

well for one thing i know that those things are part of anxiety. and i know now that i'm suffering from post traumatic stress and seeing a therapist.

also doc said zoloft makes it worse when taking higher doses.

do you get alot of phobias? i've been getting more phobias lately so i checked out this book at the library and it made alot of sense. so i decided to think about my fears related to my phobias and my thought process and write it down so i can discuss it wiht my therapist. just writing them down helped calm my anxiety alot!

plus the foggy thinking and pain doesnt help it :-)

Anonymous said...

Lyme Disease distorts and amplifies "other" conditions. Thus if you had child abuse in the past and suffered anxiety as a result, that anxiety is ten fold with Lyme in the picture. If you suffer depression or post trauma, that is amplified as well.

The result is often doctors feeding on the lesser diagnosis, not realizing the main issue of infection must be resolved before progress can actually take place in psychological aspects.

Anonymous said...

i know what u mean ive had a hard time connected with myself i feel split between two words. one where i am crazy the other normal. its like a dream almostt and i'm still waiting to wake up

Anonymous said...

I know this is an old post of yours but I have been having derealization for eight months and it won't go away. I was just recently diagnosed with chiari malformation. Do you think they have any correlation and how you got yours to go away?!

Courtney said...

It could be a contributing factor. Mine I believe was mostly anxiety related.

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