some pain relief

finally got some pain relief by sitting on a chair backwards literally on my crotch :-(

i dont know how i'm going to get by like this. i start work tomorrow and i'm starting school in a month.

i might have to invest in one of these kneeling chairs with a cushion/pillow.

"bad days"

finally got my period! and my gyn apointment is on tuesday. i have inflamation and that flushed feeling in my face, migraines and fatigue. not horrible but i think these are my "bad days" (hopefully!)

feeling content

I've had two good days. I'm happy at peace and I'm trying hard not to push myself or get down on myself. I'm feeling content and i have little pain and weakness. i mean I'm not feeling like today i could work or anything without killing myself but I'm feeling like I'm getting there. I'm hoping its not a fluke.

I'm trying to eat better. i really pushed myself on Sunday though when i made one too many commitments (meaning 2 commitments haha) and told myself that i should follow through with them anyways because that way I'll learn to not do that again. i got a migraine that night and felt dehydrated so i drank a glass of water.

i find myself trying to find ways to entertain myself. I'm usually a doer and now i cant do stuff only because of my "SUMMER OFF" thing. i know i need purpose. this summer will definitely stretch me in that way because I need to stick to doing nothing really except relax and have a vacation and get better.

i need to praise God for my health lately. i prayed for him to make me better and told him i would praise him for it every day if he did but I'm still hesitant. that comes with the territory (meaning ME lol).

I'm thinking of doing Communication Disorders program at school so I'm going to a meeting on thursday about it. My husband and I are getting along better now, my sister is still a little upset at me but my mom is not at all (she is always extreme like that though.)

PS: I havent had my period for almost 2 months now. I should know the results of my labs this week (if i call) or at least by my follow up in a couple weeks.

wow today was great. i slept in though which is good. i was able to walk ALOT today and even do a few turns (cuz i like to dance in random places like the bus stop :-)

i'm tired tonight and i think i'm gonna be able to sleep well. i feel like i did before when i worked and i was having a hard time because i was working and going to school and not feeling well at the same time. so thats good. its much improvement.

i think that god might be healing me.

i get this feeling when i take a shower like the blood is pooling in my feet and hands and they hurt alot and feel like i need to shake them and massage them and lift them up instead of standing on them (or in my hands case keeping them down).

another thing i've been still spotting those red dots in random places. my right shoulder has a bigger one (still very small but i was able to take a picture of it before my camera died on me).

along with the feet pain i feel i see like spider veins all in my feet and calves. at first it was just in my right foot and now its in my left foot. so i'm going to bring that up to the doc next friday when i go.

i spent a long time in Michaels' today looking for scrapbooking stuff for my wedding album. i found some cool paper. i got some good ideas. i'm going to take it like one page at a time and i have an idea of what i'm gonna do with the whole thing as well.

i havent done any knitting lately though. but i will in time. i think that scrapbooking is a little funner and slightly more challenging and if i have the energy for it i like to do that instead.

TAKE THE SUMMER OFF!!! is my motto