stages of chronic illness

Stage 4 – Depression

Realizing how dramatically their lifestyle has changed, FM patients experience depression. They wonder how they are going to live the rest of their lives, and feel utterly hopeless about their situation. Realize that there will be good days and bad days, that pacing can help prevent FM flares, and that there is life after FM.

i dont have fibro but thats the stage i'm in in this moment. i feel like i've been wasting my life away this last year feeling ill. i've done alot but its so disapointing to sit here and realize that its going by so quickly and so quickly in pain. i have malaise (i think, just feeling ill all the time) cant work and now its affecting my going to school, clean the house go out to dinner even. it was a depressing feeling realizing my wedding is next month and will i be able to dance? feel good after walking the few steps down the isle? will i be so ill that morning i want to just cancel it all? what about my honeymoon? what about school, do i have to take all online classes? what about not being able to think clearly cuz i feel so ill? and then i'll turn 50 like my parents just did and my whole life wasted.

i'm either trying to figure out whats wrong with me while lying here on the couch (the only thing i can do) or distract myself. how depressing! good grief. bah humbug.

motivation

what do you do when there is no motivation to get up. I'm thinking in my head, if i get up and go out i will feel better but i know its not true. i feel the same sleeping as i do getting out going to school. the sucky thing is (or maybe its a blessing) i cant hold a job because of this illness now (whatever we may call it cuz there aint a dx yet). how do you motivate yourself to get out of bed? I''m not depressed I'm just in a lot of pain and feel ill all the time.

waking up

t takes everything in me to get out of bed this morning. nautious, in pain. i have to tell myself to take it one step at a time cuz i think of all the spoons i will use up just going through 3 hours of my day. but stressing will rid me of spoons. Now time to get Jamba Juice to take my yummy pain killer. Hopefully I don't look too bad this morning. I only have a little spoon to use to lookin the mirror and mess with my hair a bit.

Tramadol and Sudafed

i took my tramadol this morning and i had a sinus headache so i also took some psudofed. i ended up with the worst migraine ever and all keeled over, i haven't eaten all day and have been sleeping. after throwing up all the psudofed I'm feeling slightly better.

no diagnosis no tests

so i went to this fibro expert and he was really nice and told me to get any test results from my previous doc so that i could get more tests. well i went back and told him how much pain i was in and he just sent me to fibro rehab clinic and gave me pain meds. then i call him and ask if the clinic will take more tests, and he said no and then said bye. i;m not an expert but isnt he supposed to take more tests to rule out other things? I mean i dont even have a diagnosis yet! UGH!

how docs should treat you!

this is just what i added to a forum question

~dont automatically rule out rarer diseases if symptoms fit the criteria. make sure and get some ACCURATE testing. (IE hypoglycemia or certain cancers)
(one time i went in urgent care for a cold or something and a newer doctor ordered chest x-rays JUST IN CASE, that was awesome!)

~if a symptom doesnt seem to fit into textbook diagnosis, still consider it.

~Consider newer studies on different illnesses and not blow them off just because you were never taught about them in school.

~just because your an expert in a certain area of medicine (IE migraines) dont assume all symtoms lead to this problem. (like my old doctor who only focused on my head pain and dismissed all my other symtoms to depression)

black spot under skin

black spot under skin? i have like 2 of them about nickel sized on my upper thigh. feels like a bruise. i was wearing some new jeans and it kept feeling like it was pinching my skin. i was freaking out and couldnt stand the pain and ichiness so i took them off and those black spots were there and i scratched it a bunch. anyways that was 2 days ago and its still there.
and my bones hurt and i'm drained with NO energy. havent really gone out for 2 days cuz of the pain fatique and weakness. Rhuemy says its not fibro. i'm going in for more tests on thursday.

needles in the bones

i feel like prickly needles along my spine, neck, under jaw, shoulders, back arms fingers toes. and yesterday it stared where the air itself is too heavy. weird. but instead of being tired and worn out feeling i am alive feeling health, moving furnature, etc. but still this pain. is it lupus? also i can do ballet class for two hours but if i do 15 minutes of my next class (dance for children) where we turn around and do slow random movements i get weak really suddenly and need to sit and i get shakey like i have the flu.

What happened at the doctors...

so i went to the doctor, he was nice and listened and wants to find out whats wrong. i got 2 of the fibro points cuz i was feeling well that day. but i was having a hard time telling him my symptoms, blanking out and such (which has been a recent thing last month) and hes sending me to a neuro psychiatrist to figure that out first. he said i have a low tolerance to pain. could possibly be vit d deficiency or atypical depression. or something else. who knows...... but he said he didnt want to give me anything until he knows what it is. i go back in a couple of weeks to get more tests after he reviews all my previous testing from other doctors.